Judgement vs Grace

I read a blog post yesterday that disturbed me. In this post the Christian author was talking about divorce and the biblical mandates for it. She said some things that I agree with….God hates divorce, divorce hurts no matter what situation caused it, and we should always pray, seek council, and exhaust all other options before resorting to divorce….I agree 100%. That was the case in my situation, and I saw first hand how divorce, even though it was somewhat a relief, still hurt me and my children.

Now, before I move on with this post, I want to make a disclaimer that I in no way, shape, or form condone divorce for just any reason, or think it should be entered into shallowly. If you enter into a covenant with someone, you should remain faithful to that covenant until you have done everything in your power to resolve the issues. I do believe that society in general has taken a lackadaisical attitude concerning divorce, and it has become convenience rather than something thought-out, and a last resort. I believe that is wrong, and millions of people are hurting themselves and others because of selfish agendas. 

Ok, back to the post….:)

One thing that bothered me about her post was her mindset of following the letter of the law rather than showing grace. She justified her two divorces as based on biblical reasons that she could divorce (adultery and abandonment), but left no room for issues such as abuse (physical, mental, sexual), alcohol/drug addiction, etc…we do not know anyone’s situation, who are we to judge what has transpired in their family and relationships, what has transpired between them and God? Her attitude was simply that unless you could say your spouse cheated on you or abandoned you, you should stay married. It is not as black and white as presented in her post. But, perhaps what bothered me more was her desire to drag ministry leaders into the conversation, and applaud one while demeaning the other.

She gave two examples of popular ministers/Bible teachers’ daughters that have gone through divorce. One who handled her divorce “the right way,” and put all the details out for the world to see, and another who should be removed from ministry because of her lack of transparency about what she and her family went through. What I want to say is, what business is it of ours? What gives us the right to demand the details of her (their) divorces be placed on the open alter of public opinion? It really made me made that we have become so presumptuous as to assume that everybody owes us an explanation for everything in their lives. In the words for Stephanie from Full House….How Rude.

I realize that if you are the public spotlight, and you are teaching/preaching/leading, there are certain standards that you are held to (James 1:3). That, however, does not mean that you are required to declare every personal detail about your life, or justify every decision you make. There should be some element of transparency for the sake of accountability, but we should not be mad or judgemental when we do not get to know every single detail of their lives.

So, my point to this whole post is that what would happen if we truly showed grace, and took seriously the fact that our judgement of others will bring harsher judgement on ourselves (Matthew 7:1-2)? I don’t know about you, but I have plenty the Lord needs to deal with me about without me asking for more by judging others. If we see something that doesn’t quite line up with Scripture, we should pray, not judge. Before we pass judgement, we should ask ourselves what if the roles were reversed… would we want our closets emptied in the public arena?

I don’t know about you, but I have enough to contend with dealing with the plank in my own eye. I don’t really have time to judge the splinter in my brother’s and sister’s eyes (Matthew 7:3). Show grace today- it makes a much better impact than judgement.

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